Why A Soldier’s Diary?
Have I ever put on fatigues and fought an enemy?
Have I ever gone through boot camp, crawled through a fox hole, or crossed enemy lines?
No, I have never done any of those things in the natural. And I don’t claim to know a thing about what those who have served in that way go through. Although I honor, respect, and even admire sometimes that journey, it has not been mine.
I have seen battle, however. And I continue to see it every day.
In fact, I would like to propose, if you are a person who can still feel your heart throbbing in your chest in some way, then so have you.
And so do you.
Some people think that right now we may be on the heels of “World War III” with all that is going on in the world.
Some, however, know that we have been at war for quite a while.
There were rumbling of it with Lincoln. There were grumblings with JFK. There was a slow roar when DJT took office.
Do you think that it is over?
Almost. But we still have a little way to go. It is the steepest climb that we are approaching, but it the one hill that counts the most.
There is a scene in the movie Hacksaw Ridge (2016) when the protagonist, a medic named Doss who is a pacifist but chooses to join the army without carrying a weapon, must venture across the battlefield to get himself and the last of his regimen to safety.
He has already saved dozens. He has one more to go. It is only a few hundred feet that he has to cross, but it is treacherous. It is the most difficult trek of the whole movie and, indeed, of his whole life.
He does it in faith. In God, and in himself of what he can do with God within him.
“Lord, give me the strength to get one more,” he says. And the Lord responds.
That is where we are at right now in this war that has no name. It is a war that is more within the mind, within the heart, within the soul, within the Spirit.
We are crossing the last few feet before safety. And it is right here where we get to put on the full armor of God, which is based in righteousness, Peace, Faith, Salvation, prayer, and the Word of God.
Especially for me, it is about Truth.
This series is my Belt. I wear it with humility, and I wear it with honor. I tighten it and polish it every single day in “all prayer and supplication” as best that I can.
You see, at this point, soldiers like me do battle mostly within our own minds. As the Lord reveals memories that are beyond comprehension… of the past stored away in the deep creases of the subconscious, or in our cells, or in our DNA, or in our ancestral line, or from wherever they are hidden… It is up to God to reveal them. And it is up to us to say Yes.
It is also up to us to take what we have…fragments, kernels, sensations rooted in trauma…to the Family (God) and say “Here it is. I thank you that you have revealed this. Please let me see and know and experience all that I need to, in your wisdom and your grace and in your mercy, so that I can BE FREE and so that what I share and the way that I share it can help others to BE FREE too– right now and in past ans in future, across all timelines and all dimensions.”
And then we wait. And it is revealed. And, for me, because I am a writer and have been since the time I picked up that chubby purple Crayola and began to form words on a piece of rough off-white construction paper, I share it with words.
Cuz, gosh darn it, that is what I came here to do!
I hope that you, dear reader, appreciate the words written in this series. Sometimes they are not pretty. Sometimes they are downright gruesome, violent, ugly, menacing, and point to an evil that is at times quite unimaginable.
If an entry is of that nature, my intention is not to trigger nor upset anyone. I will be sure to put a disclaimer at the top of the entry so that you can decide for yourself whether to enter in to the “story” or not.
It is always up to you, and you always have the free will to say yes or say no.
No one can EVER take away that right from you. It is your birthright.
Why do I write? It is not for everyone. But it is for someone, or a few someones, who, within the reading and the revealing, a context is provided, a frame of reference is created, and a pathway for another’s liberation is born.
As Yeshua is quoted as saying in the gospel of Mark:
“No one lights a lamp only to place it under a basket or under a bed. It is meant to be placed on a lampstand. For there is nothing that is hidden that won’t be disclosed, and there is no secret that won’t be brought out into the light! If you understand what I’m saying, you need to respond!” (Mark 4: 21-23 TPT)
I understand and I humbly respond.
(C) Nikki Lyn Pugh, 2022
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