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Surrender in 3 Dreams

February 3, 2022

I received an assignment from a friend

To write about surrender.


It was in reference to a conversation that

Quite frankly

I do not recall.


All I remember is the assignment

And how perplexed I was

That I could not sit down and write.




The stream was dry

And so I fell asleep.


When I woke up

I was in a dream with 3 parts

— — — —


In the first part, I was hunched over

In a long tunnel

The tunnel was

The color of cool mud

And I was in the throes of indecision.


And what I saw was a false light

At one end of the tunnel


The way would be long

If I chose to move towards it

And grit and determination sheer power of will

Would have to sustain me

Through exhaustion and aching muscles

But surely there was the promise of open space


But also

The inevitably

Of four walls

And of a destiny

Of conformity.



The second dream was that of retreat

I could slink back from whence I came

I had no recollection

Of where I came from exactly

But I knew that I had escaped from there

And I knew that it was dark

And musty and cold

And that this place right here

In the middle  

This place of indecision and confusion

Was way better than that.



The third dream presented

The option to stay right where I was

In the middle

Not moving backwards

Not moving forwards

But floating

Somewhere in a waiting state

But standing firm

In my inability to make a decision

On my own accord

With my own mind

With my own faculties.


— — — —

And then somewhere within

That waiting place of the third dream

I was taken out of the dream altogether

I woke up in the tunnel

At that fork in the road

And everything came to a screeching halt

And I let go

And I surrendered.


To what exactly?

This is where the heart takes over

And the mind succumbs

And I have the choice to say yes

To a sweet voice that has always been there

An almost silent presence

That my heart knows so well

Yet my mind will never understand.


Come with me

The voice says

And I know the name.


So sweet is the sound

And the hope so pure

Like a seed vibrating with possibility

And inevitability of flowering




Can I trust this voice

When my reality

As far as my mind can remember

Has been built on distrust, hurt, chaos, commotion?

Can I believe that there is a better way?


The voice comes in soft

Like a chord of golden light

And I choose a kernel of Faith


I choose to believe that I can believe

That there is more to this life

Than darkness and despair.


I choose to believe

In that voice

Just a little

And so I reach for it

A single finger

The slightest of movements

In the most subtle of ways


And this voice

Turns into a hand

That reaches back for me with a passion

And scoops me up

A delicate blossom

Pale yellow and promising

Surrounded by golden light


You see,

It only takes a micromovement on our part

For God to grab hold and squeeze us tight

And hold us in Their Embrace

And never let us go.


Love Light Yeshua


I whisper His name

And am whisked away


The other choice

That I did not know

Within the iron cage of my own mind

Is that I never had to stay in that tunnel

In the first place.


© Nikki Lyn Pugh, 2022




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